The Star Wars Movie Rankings- Pure Nerd Rage
Ranking Star Wars movies can be fun and you are guaranteed to tick someone off. As a fan I do have my own personal ranking and I am here to share it with you. You might not agree with this list but that is okay. Now onto number 1!
The first movie comes in at number 1 and most will like this. The Phantom Menace is definitely not it
This film clocks in at the top position. Why you might ask and not Star Wars- A new Hope? Well we have AT-AT’S, Boba Fett, the huge reveal that Darth Vader is Luke’s pop and Hoth. This film is so damn good I could watch it everyday. We also get treated to Yoda for the first time along with the introduction of Lando. Lets not forget that Han gets put on ice. Darth Vader and Luke have one hell of a fight that was really impressive up to this point. The overall visuals were spot on and the Special Edition fixed some of the minor issues of the film. I know, I know we are supposed to hate the Special Editions but I do like them. The second film of the original trilogy will always remain at that top spot. I never saw this film in the theater; I saw it on my fathers ship as the Navy did get new movies for the sailors. How many can beat that?
This one will cause some hate. Yes, I do have a Prequel film at the top. This one was by far the best of the Prequels and it ranks near the top for several reasons. The first being due to the longest Lightsaber fight on film. Anakin and Obi-Wan’s fight was damn near perfect. Much better than what we saw in A New Hope. This film answered so many burning questions we all had at the end of Jedi and so much more. The Clone Wars was closed and we saw the Emperor finally come to power. Lets face it, the Prequel was all about Palpatine and how much of a prick he was. While the movie was not perfect I truly enjoyed the film.
Return of the Jedi rounds out the top three films. This one was good but Ewoks brought it down a few notches. We did get to see Luke in full Jedi mode and that final fight with daddy was well worth the wait. The best part of this film was the epic space fight with the Empire. That was spectacular to see on the big screen and lets not forget about the one main reason this movie ranks; Slave Leia. How many boys became men after watching this film? I don’t know but the list is high! Do not pretend this is new info, Slave Leia was hot. Just go to a Con, you will see many Slave Leias rooming around the floor. In all seriousness, the rescue of Han Solo made all nerd fans happy and we were glad Han was reunited with his friends.
Now this one will piss people off. Trust me this is my list so please, please no death threats. So, why Attack of the Clones? This film introduced us to the Clone Wars! While it was not much we did get that start to a war we all knew about. The visuals were pretty good for this film but the main saving grace is the temperament of the film. This is hard to explain but it resonates with a vibe I had when I saw it for the first time. I loved Jango’s introduction (and death) but it was really about the war. Yoda going all ninja was a plus but this was the weakest lightsaber fight off all the films. Be mad at Yoda for bringing this one up.
Some might think I am nuts. How can this beat Star Wars???!!! Yeah Star Wars is near the bottom but will it beat out The Phantom Menace? Maybe. Anywho, The Force Awakens is the start of a new Trilogy and even though it was a rehash of A New Hope, it was still good. Character introductions become crucial in a new film series and this one did not disapoint. Rey is definitely a favorite and Kylo Ren has some work to do. He is no Darth Vader and Poe is bad ass. We have a ton of questions left after watching the film and we need some holes filled. The next one is sure to give us some answers oh and we have Luke Skywalker back. So yeah, it was good.
Im dead I know it. Let’s face it this film had to rank somewhere and yes it beat out Star Wars. How in the hell did this happen??!! For starters this one kicked off the Prequels. I know it was not good but admit this, you saw this film several times in the theater. My count is 9 and I am proud of that. Yes Jar Jar is an idiot and Anakin is a punk but we get to see new Jedi kicking butt AND we got Darth Maul! Oh and if you did not know, he is alive and it’s cannon! That lightsaber fight was damn near perfect. Maul kicked some major Jedi tail. On the bright side we dove right into the political aspects of the trilogy. I enjoyed all of that. The film was good for what it was. Battle Droids and the Trade Federation brought it down some but not as much as Yippie from the soon to be Dark Lord of the Sith. Oh I forgot, the count is 10 due to the 3-D release. I suck.
Finally, A New Hope. The film that started it all. Why does this film rank last? The reason is simple and let me explain. First, this film brought us everything; Luke, Leia, Darth Vader, The Empire, X-Wings, Tie Fighters, Han, The Falcon, Chewi and the list could go on. The reason it is last is I am so sick of seeing this film. I must have watched it well over 500 times and it bores the living crap out of me. I have seen A New Hope 5 times more than any of the other films. I own it on Blu Ray, DVD, VHS, and multiple copies of each to boot. I love this movie but it’s time to move on. You ruled my movie life for so long and it’s time to say goodbye. If you were mad then this next statement will send you over the edge. I prefer the Special Edition.
There you have it, my personal ranking of all the Star Wars films. I am curious how Rogue One will rank but it will take several viewings to nail that one down. Let me know how your list comes out in the talkback section. Be kind and let it rip!